So I'm working on this fic
Dec. 5th, 2013 08:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
potentiality_26Technically, I am finished with said fic. It's for Wild Wild West, so nobody get excited. I post those on AO3, where the people who have actually ever seen the show are (and by 'the people' I mean four or five of them- maybe as many as six!- but we'll get to that in a moment). Anyway, I just feel the need to rant about the fic a little- all y'all can feel free to pay no attention.
But if you want to pat me on the head and tell me it's all gonna be okay- or to get over myself and post it already- that would be nice.
Like I say, it's done. I just... I don't like it. I'm pretty sure there's technically nothing wrong with it, it's just dark, which isn't what I normally write, and it doesn't have a happy ending, which isn't what I normally read. I love a really well handled darkfic as much as the next person, but I have to be in a particular mood for it. And though it's my opinion that this fic has some good stuff in it, I wouldn't throw around the words 'really well handled' in its proximity.
Now, if this were larger fandom, I'd stick on the necessary tags and warnings and maybe an author's note that says, "I'm not entirely happy with this. Proceed at your own risk," and call it good. They're adults; they can look at the tags and warnings and decide whether they want to go there or not. Most fandoms have all kinds of writers and all kinds of readers and chances are good that if something motivated me to produce it there is at least one other person out there who would like to read it. But this is not a large fandom. There aren't a lot of people in it, and while it's had its moments in decades past you're lucky to get three new stories a month. And I wonder if maybe what few people are in it aren't a little desperate. Desperate enough to go there even when they don't really want to.
But I want to post it, because I've finally accepted that no amount of fiddling is going to make me like it, and yet I will keep fiddling as long as it remains unposted. I'm just unsure of myself. And I'm gonna be the first person to use the big scary bold 'major character death' archive warning. Now, I'm not the first person to write a fic with character death in it in this fandom- just the first on AO3. Even so, it's ground I'm not excited about breaking.
Okay, I'm done now. I do actually feel a bit better.
But if you want to pat me on the head and tell me it's all gonna be okay- or to get over myself and post it already- that would be nice.
Like I say, it's done. I just... I don't like it. I'm pretty sure there's technically nothing wrong with it, it's just dark, which isn't what I normally write, and it doesn't have a happy ending, which isn't what I normally read. I love a really well handled darkfic as much as the next person, but I have to be in a particular mood for it. And though it's my opinion that this fic has some good stuff in it, I wouldn't throw around the words 'really well handled' in its proximity.
Now, if this were larger fandom, I'd stick on the necessary tags and warnings and maybe an author's note that says, "I'm not entirely happy with this. Proceed at your own risk," and call it good. They're adults; they can look at the tags and warnings and decide whether they want to go there or not. Most fandoms have all kinds of writers and all kinds of readers and chances are good that if something motivated me to produce it there is at least one other person out there who would like to read it. But this is not a large fandom. There aren't a lot of people in it, and while it's had its moments in decades past you're lucky to get three new stories a month. And I wonder if maybe what few people are in it aren't a little desperate. Desperate enough to go there even when they don't really want to.
But I want to post it, because I've finally accepted that no amount of fiddling is going to make me like it, and yet I will keep fiddling as long as it remains unposted. I'm just unsure of myself. And I'm gonna be the first person to use the big scary bold 'major character death' archive warning. Now, I'm not the first person to write a fic with character death in it in this fandom- just the first on AO3. Even so, it's ground I'm not excited about breaking.
Okay, I'm done now. I do actually feel a bit better.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2013-12-09 01:15 am (UTC)*HUGS*
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Date: 2013-12-09 10:45 pm (UTC)I know I'm not the only one who has written a fic and not even really known where it came from- most people probably do, now and then- but it still boggles my mind.
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Date: 2013-12-17 04:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-12-17 06:39 am (UTC)You've been around for longer than me, but I'm pretty glad not to be totally alone too- especially because I've never had a show/pairing hijack me quite like this before and all I want is to share the love.
Thank you! I will indeed most likely post whatever, I just had a small meltdown with this one. It may not be the last. Personally, I think I'm a little bit desperate, so it's lucky that what stories are out there are generally so good (like yours).
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Date: 2013-12-17 05:29 pm (UTC)Yes! That's exactly how I've felt, for years. It's all about the Jim/Artie love! They bowled me over too, even kept me in a fandom that seems not to comment or read that much. My only wish for WWW fandom would be that people in it, at least the slash section, would be a bit more vocal. So it's very nice to find someone else who's actually talking about this fandom, which I've always wished was much bigger online than it is. : )
I'd send you to my lj in return, but I don't really have time to use it, so there's nothing there. I just have time to post the occasional story on AO3, and leave it at that. But I did read your "Silk Roses" last night, and thought it was awesome! I'm off to AO3 to comment in more depth there...
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Date: 2013-12-18 05:49 am (UTC)